My husband threw snowballs at our garage. It didn’t matter if they shattered, snowballs wouldn’t damage property or injure others. Pulverizing snowballs provided a therapeutic release to the frustration that threatened to explode. Moments before, dinner had been peaceful—that is until a child turned an itty bitty offense into a monumental transgression. In a matter of seconds, Mom (umm, that’s me) and child were screaming at each other and … it only got worse from there. So my husband escaped to the frozen outdoors in an effort to stay out of the fire brewing indoors.
I don’t know about your house, but at mine discord played all too frequently. Lack of trust, failure to comply, sensitive emotions, and poor choices frequently created an audible tension that screeched mercilessly. Where was the harmonious family I always dreamed of? Was it a fairy tale—something forever unattainable?
I refused to believe that. I stayed steadfast in my conviction that God’s song would eventually resolve into consonance. I trusted He would show me what needed tuning. In fact, the above incident landed me in a therapist’s office two days later, as I sought to quiet the noise in my own heart. In the process I learned how to make a few key changes.
1. Embrace the melody
- The song I thought God would write in our family was not realistic. I had to step back and allow Him to bring the varying elements together and compose a symphony only He could create.
- I had to allow my children to march to their own cadence. The music they jived to didn’t have to be what I swayed to, but I still had to let them sing their own song.
2. Turn off the noise
- I had to refuse to listen to the lies the father of dissonance shouted in my ears. Because my brain is rarely silent, I had to then reset my dial to God’s truth.
3. Listen to God’s whisper
- With a noisy house, and even noisier heart, I had to make time to sit in silence before my Father.
- I had to deliberately tune in to the character of Jesus as I sought to live like Him.
- I had to quit looking for resolutions and start looking for God’s heart—God’s heart for my children, and His heart for me.
4. Sing the Truth
- I had to quit singing the funeral dirge—the woe is me, I didn’t deserve this, God has abandoned me theme.
- Then I had to start singing worship to the God of all, mighty Savior, giant-slayer, Prince of Peace, lover of my soul …
- I wrote Scriptural truths on note cards where I could easily remind myself of God’s promises.
- And I started making my “good report” list about each child and each situation. I learned to give thanks even when life seemed off-tune.
You see, that dissonance you hear may mean you need to do some of your own fine-tuning. But it also may be an integral part of the symphony God is writing on your own heart.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:3, NASB
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