Check Out My New Website

Dear Faithful Friends,

Just a reminder I’m no longer writing here at Mother of Pearls. Please join me at my new website – Cheri Dee Johnson: Discovering God’s Heart for the Mom Raising Nonbiological Children.

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In fact, you can click on over to read today’s thoughts: What Mom Gets a Labor-Free Day?

While there, you can scroll to the bottom of the article and subscribe to continue receiving my weekly blogs in your email. I’d love to have you follow me there. Not only will you get my blog articles but you’ll also receive more personal notes from me and have a place to visit more privately if you’d like.

Also, if you’d like to receive more of my devotionals, I share once or twice a week on Cheri Dee Johnson Facebook page, where I also share weekly live videos. My Facebook devotionals also appear on my Cheri Dee Johnson Instagram page.

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I hope to see you soon at my new places where my goal is to come along side you with lessons I’ve gleaned through the years of parenting nonbiological children.

Aug 28 - Come Alongside

Blessings from God’s Heart,
Cheri Dee Johnson

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Let’s Build a Village

Can we, you and I, enter a symbiotic relationship for a bit?

Where you help me help you?

I’m a writer. Okay, you already knew that. I’m hoping to make a career out of it. Maybe you knew that, too. But the thing is, for writers to reach the people they care about with a message they’re passionate about, it truly takes a huge online village. I’m needing people in my village.

So here’s what’s going on. Almost two years ago I started:

  • this Mother of Pearls weekly blog,
  • bi-weekly devotionals on my Facebook writer’s page Cheri Dee Johnson (previously on Mother of Pearls page),
  • bi-weekly Facebook live videos on the Cheri Dee Johnson page,
  • and began sharing everything except the videos to an Instagram account (also called Cheri Dee Johnson).

All of this is an effort to reach more nonbiological moms with messages of hope. Messages that assure moms they are not monsters, their children aren’t evil, and God is faithful to fulfill His purposes for them and their children.

Even though Mother of Pearls has a good visual message to it, …

Professionals encouraged me to drop it. The topic of “pearls” is way overused. And authors do better if they simply use their names for all their online work. With a name like Cheri Johnson, that’s a bit of a faith step. After all, how many ways can you spell Cheri? And how many thousands of us Cheri (Sherri, Sherrie, Cherie …) Johnsons are there? So I added my middle name to help distinguish me.

As I’m learning what it means to be a writer, I continue to work on my online brand—not an easy task for this not-so-techno grandma. I started working on a new website last October—11 months ago, y’all!

Finally, it’s ready! Woo hoo! I’m so excited to introduce you to …

CHERI DEE JOHNSON: Discovering God’s Heart for the Mom Raising Nonbiological Children

So, here’s how you can help me build a village.

Aug 28 Village

1. Check out my new place and subscribe.

Read any page, scroll to the bottom of the page, and subscribe to receive my blog straight to your email.

2. Inform me if the subscription process doesn’t work.

Because I so appreciate your allowing me into your inbox on a regular basis, I have a free gift for you: a printable of The Nonbiological Mom’s Declaration of Truth. Once you subscribe, that gift should download straight onto your device. Boom! Just like that. And in short order you should receive a thank you letter from me in your email.

This should all happen automatically but in case it doesn’t could you please let me know?

3. Spread the word and help me grow my email list.

My dream is to publish books—books that will land in the hands of moms who need healing from the wounds they’ve encountered while raising children from hard places. But publishers now require authors to do most of their own marketing. The first statistic a potential publisher considers is how big an aspiring author’s email list is. In fact, just yesterday I heard it needs to contain at least 5,000 subscribers. Y’all! I think I have like maybe 25. I’m really struggling to find my “tribe”. So you can see why I’m reaching out to you and asking for your help.

But, I want this to be as organic as possible. Meaning, you don’t have to tell every single soul you know. But if you know any nonbiological (adoptive, foster, step, grandmother, aunt, etc) mom who could use the regular encouragement I offer, please, please, please refer them to my site. (Yes, I would love it if you told every single one of these souls.)

4. Evaluate my site.

I need people, other than my husband, to visit every page (No need to worry about the Write 31 Days page). I’m looking for feedback, especially if something’s not working: it doesn’t appeal visually, the content isn’t clear or meaningful, the technical transitions aren’t smooth, etc. Let me know how I can better serve you and those you know.

I’m used to pretty tough criticism, and if I’m going to enter the publishing world, I’ll have to face it anyway. So, don’t be gentle. Kind, yes, but be as honest as you can. Remember, you’re helping spread encouraging messages to people you care about. You want them to have meaningful engagement with me and my content.

5. Interact with me.

Again, I want this to be organic. Many friends tell me they love what I share even though they never comment. But, it’s those comments that help spread the encouragement. First, they let me know what’s working. Second, they extend messages of understanding and hope with other moms who walk a similar path.

Also, write me personally. Corresponding through email, allows for conversations to happen privately. In fact, by subscribing to my site, I’ll be able to send notes privately to subscribers. But you don’t have to wait for me to initiate conversations; you can email me at cherideejohnson@cherideejohnson.com

In the end, my goal is to step into the kind of opportunities Paul’s mentions in 2 Corinthians.

Aug 28 - Come Alongside

I’d love to be that “come-alongside” person for you, and for those moms you know whom I’ve not yet met. Would you help me in doing this? Would you become a part of my village-building team? It would means so much to me, bless your friends, and help grow God’s kingdom.

To get start just head on over to Cheri Dee Johnson website and subscribe. My next blog will land in your inbox next Monday.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Why Children Leave the Church When They Leave Home

{Heads Up! September 4th, I’ll be launching a brand new website, and no longer posting here on Mother of Pearls. In fact, you can take a look now at Cheri Dee Johnson. For those who subscribe, I’ll be send you a free printable: The Nonbiological Mom’s Declaration of Truth.}

To this day I remember how I landed …

stunned and pouty, on the floor where my mother had suddenly plunked me. I hadn’t realized I had been so squirmy, nor that the sanctuary was stifling hot in the crammed pews. All I know is that I was suddenly surrounded by big shoes attached to adult legs. Adults who sat transfixed by a captivating awareness of God.

When I was four- and five-years-old my dad was on staff at a church that experienced a move of God so powerful it impacted the entire town—the news of it landing bold-faced on the front page of the paper. Even as a young child, the overwhelming, loving presence of God was so palatable, it changed my life forever.

I remember. I remember sitting in church (most of the time on the pew) and watching faces glow and tissue boxes empty as people shared their life-changing stories. I remember seeing my mother on her face, weeping before God. I remember telling my grandmother how we had a peace in our home we hadn’t had before. (Yes, even church leaders and their families need life-changing encounters with God.)

I believe the reason many children raised in church grow up and leave the church is because they are missing two important ingredients. They don’t encounter God at church and they don’t experience Him regularly at home. It’s not that church is irrelevant – although that might be. But frankly, God is irrelevant.

Aug 21 Relevance
Photo by Angello Lopez on Unsplash

I know full well that revival (as they called this move of God) can’t be manufactured. It’s not the result of following a set of formulated steps.

But somehow we need to usher our children into tangible experiences with God if we want them to follow Him the rest of their lives.

I have a couple suggestions for you.

Make sure you’re in a church where the leadership visibly practices humility before Christ (the Head of the church). It needs to be a place where people linger before God. A place that puts God’s Word as the foundation. A church that’s not in a hurry to accomplish the Sunday morning routine and then go home.

He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.
Colossians 1:18 (NASB)

And I cannot urge you strongly enough, the best place for your children to encounter God at church is in the worship service with the adults. I can testify loud and clear, that sitting in the sanctuary, even as a four-year-old, and seeing God change lives right before my very eyes, is what set the course for my lifelong lean into the Savior. I love the way John Piper explains it in this podcast: “Should Children Sit Through ‘Big Church’?”.

Then in our homes, our personal walk with Jesus has to be real, endearing, and top priority. We have to demonstrate more than just a commitment to an organization. We have to model more than just following a set of spiritual disciplines. Our children need to witness our hunger for the person of God. They need to watch us walk in daily relationship with Jesus. The need to smell that this relationship is fresh—not packaged. Something we breathe moment by moment, drink until we’re satisfied, and feast on as if we’ll never eat again. We must offer our children much more than leftovers thrown down like dog food in scheduled increments.

I’m not saying to not follow a routine or to ignore the disciplines. I’m saying use them as a means to experience, and model, an irresistible relationship with Jesus.

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;
Philippians 3:7-10

Now, let me say …

this is one area of parenting I feel like I totally failed at.

Partly, because I was so overwhelmed in running a household of seven, while attempting to keep a lid on trauma-induced behaviors. And partly because if children can’t attach to a parent, they can’t attach to God, and I had no idea how to get this message across.

But, I can also say, it was still clear that following God and living according to His Word the best we knew how was of utmost importance to both Bob and me. Our kids got to watch us do so for the four to twelve years they lived in our home.

More importantly, even though my children are all grown up with their own families, this modeling is something I can still do. Just because I’m an empty-nester doesn’t mean I’m a hollowed-out shell. Neither do I have to stalk my kids for opportunities to pry the gospel into their thinking. I just need to live it. Day in and day out.

This is a simple answer to a complicated question. But in truth I think it boils down to …

Aug 21 Soaking in Jesus. jpg

When it comes down to it, it’s not church that offers redemption. It’s Jesus. And when Jesus is alive and real in a person’s life, they tend to want to hang out with other Jesus-lovers. Church just happens to be a great place to find such people.

Souvenirs for the Soul: When You Have to Stay Home

I wanted to go!

Oh, I wanted to go. But the Lord said, “No. Not yet. Not this year.”

It was the summer before my junior year of college. My church denomination offered a summer missions program for college juniors and seniors. I so wanted to sign up and see where I might find myself for ten weeks. I did get to go the next year, to Anchorage, Alaska. But for the summer of 1983, the Lord told me to stay home.

Really, God? What could you have for me in Des Moines, Iowa that would be better than serving you in a remote corner of the United States?

He pointed me to Psalm 37:3.

Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. (NASB)

July 31 Climatis

It would be years later that I’d come to understand the word “cultivate” means “feed on”. But at this point in time, I thought it meant that I needed to grow in my ability to be faithful to the Lord‘s direction. A good thing for me. And I did learn more deeply to trust the Lord, His timing, and His ways.

But the real meaning of this verse is that …

Sometimes the Lord wants us to sit still and feed on His faithfulness to us.

Today I’m concluding my Souvenir for the Soul series. I’ve talked about lessons the Lord has taught me in new and unfamiliar places. But you know what? He also has much for us to learn in those stuck-at-home, hot-and-sticky, droopy-eared days.

He wants us to take long, cool drinks from our own wells.

He knows the most nutritious food grows in our own gardens.

He wants us to embrace the joy from the wet gigglers that jump through our sprinklers.

He knows our richest treasures will be found sitting around our own kitchen tables.

July 31 God is Faithful When We Have to Stay

You know that verse I just mentioned, from Psalm 37? The very next verse is one we know well—and often misunderstand.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalm 37:4, NASB)

Something in our brains (probably from our preschool days when we believed fairy tales) tells us that if we put God first, He’ll grant our every wish. As we’ve grown older, we’ve learned (probably in heart-wrenching ways) this is not true. That same part of our brain wants to think God’s not fair. Or, He must not love us. Or, we haven’t figured out how to truly delight in Him.

But I think our spirits understand that the truth is …

When God is our foremost pursuit, He will plant His desires inside us.

And as we trust Him, wait patiently, and watch expectantly, He will be faithful to fulfill those desires.

So for those of us who didn’t get to “go” this summer, God still has souvenirs for our souls.

Souvenir for the Soul: God’s most precious treasures aren’t discovered in the wow, but in the right here and now.

Lord, teach us to look hard in our own places and discover the riches you’ve set right in front of us. Help us savor that honey-sweet manna that arrives daily on our own plates—Your goodness.

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
(Psalm 37:5-7a, NASB)

Taste and see that the Lord is good.
(Psalm 34:8, NASB)

Souvenirs for the Soul: The Testimony of God Shows Up in Unexpected Places

In my pre-waking moments, I thought I was on a subway again. I’d been in the country only a few days, and with my group of journeymen missionaries had ridden several trains and subways, touring the city as we acclimated to the culture. Awakened long before my alarm rang, I thought someone was shaking my bed. My eyes rolled open to realize my bed was indeed shaking though no one was near it.

I sat straight up wondering,

“Is this an earthquake? …

We’re rocking, not rumbling. What am I supposed to do when there’s an earthquake?” My roommate and I sat dumbly blinking at each other. But when after only a few seconds the swaying stopped, we both returned to sleep for another hour.

“Welcome to Japan,” our orientation leader said a few hours later. It was the first, and strongest (6.1 on the Richter scale), of innumerable earthquakes I would experience over the next two years.

I had gone to Japan because I wanted to know what parts of the gospel resonated with a culture far different from my own.

Though I had a job to do, teaching English and working in a church, personally, I was there to expand my understanding of the God I loved. Obviously, I can’t share it all in a single blog. But I can share some of the highlights.

SONY DSC1. Japan is a group-oriented culture. They seek to not stand out as individuals. So in their churches, unity is a must. They never do anything significant without 100% agreement. We Americans have a lot to learn from them about surrendering our individual agendas (uh-hum … pet preferences) for the sake of the body.

July 24 - kiwihug on unsplash

2. When I served there in 1988 and 1989, less than one percent of Japan’s population was Christian. What I loved about this was that people weren’t afraid to ask real questions. Questions I tended to either ignore because they’re too scary to delve into (in case I might change my mind about my faith), or questions I took for granted because that’s what I had been taught and it hadn’t occurred to me to challenge those teachings. I grew to love digging into the Bible and into my own suppositions to solidify what was Biblical truth and what I could set aside. (photo courtesy of kiwihug on unsplash)

 

3. Whenever you visited anyone, you always brought a gift. Always. What a sweet gesture of appreciation! I wish I would remember to do this more often now.

July 24 - boots off

4. You’re probably quite familiar with the Japanese practice of taking shoes off at the door when you enter a home (and even churches and other places). In fact, other countries, and in many northern states (because sloppiness sticks to your shoes in the spring when snow melts), this same practice is observed. When I taught the gospel to a group of Japanese ladies, the removal of dirty shoes served as a great picture of our sin being removed before entering the holy presence of God.

What’s cool about the Japanese, is that the host always has slippers for you to wear so your feet don’t get cold. I suppose this, too, is a picture of God’s grace—clothing us in His righteousness.

July 24 gideon-peter-caringal-2389955. The Shinto shrine’s layout is very similar to the Old Testament tabernacle. Now isn’t that interesting? Japan for thousands of years has prided itself on its autonomy, and yet they built their places of worship with strong similarities to the instructions found in the Bible. How did that happen? (photo courtesy of Gideon Peter Caringal on unsplash, and of the very shrine I visited in the area of Tokyo where I lived)

Now hear me carefully. I’m not a universalist. I believe there’s no god or religion founder who came close to doing what Jesus did for us. None died for the world but Jesus. None rose from the grave but Jesus. None sent His Spirit to live with us but Jesus. This sets Jesus apart, and far above, any other.

But the Japanese shrines, to me, were prime examples of what Paul said:

“… what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, …” (Romans 1:19-20, NKJV)?

So, if God has made himself known to an autonomous island country, has He not also made himself clearly known to people of other cultures? What about the culture your child/ren came from? Maybe this is how we can reach them with the love of God.

Souvenir for the Soul:

Start with what’s familiar to them that reflects the character of God and His salvation story, and build on that.

July 24 Foundational Awareness of God

Because it’s true that …

The earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax at the presence of the Lord,
At the presence of the Lord of the whole earth.
The heavens declare His righteousness,
And all the peoples see His glory.

Psalm 97:4-7 (NKJV)

Family, the Beautiful

What comes to your mind when you think about Independence Day?

I think about …

  • The brave who’ve fought, and died, for our freedom;
  • The stars and stripes swaying proudly at front doors;
  • Sizzling hot dogs, watermelon drenched grins, and homemade ice cream;
  • Parades, glow sticks, bug spray, and fireworks;
  • And a kaleidoscope of people from sea to shining sea.

July 3

We’ve so much to be grateful for. Don’t we? Abundant resources. Awe-striking landscapes. Amazing people.

We’re not perfect. Not by any means. But we sure are beautiful. Yes, we are!

What a great picture of our families.

We’re not perfect. Far too frequently we display our shameful ugliness: unyielding division, stinky attitudes, embarrassing ineptness, agonizing failures.

But ever so often we need to put all that aside and throw a party. Celebrate what we are together.

Rescued. Redeemed. Renamed.

Merciful. Hopeful. Strong.

Beautiful.

July 3 R&A citizenship

There will be more battles to fight, mountains of litter to discard, sturdier bridges to build, and necessary paths to clear.

But today is a good time to stand. From table-end to table-end, stretch wide and grasp tight. It’s a day to raise our anthem: God bless and guide our home sweet home … our family, the beautiful.

July 3 United.jpg

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

Psalm 133:1 (ESV)

 

 

Remarkable Faith

I’m in the middle of a first time experience, and I’m loving it. I have the privilege of serving on Shauna Lettelier’s launch team for her book …

Remarkable Faith: When Jesus Marvels at the Faith of Unremarkable People

… to be released July 11th. And here’s the cool thing: Shauna has also been a nonbiological mom.

The last Monday of every month this year, I’ve featured a guest blogger. Today I’m doing that a little differently. I thought it would be fun if I interviewed Shauna so she could share directly with you how being a nonbiological mom helped her discover Remarkable Faith. You’ll be touched by her all-too-familiar story and the beautiful way God redeemed a difficult time in her life.

June 26 Shauna Letellier Remarkable Faith is a Braided ...

Tell us about your experience as a nonbiological mom.

We had the privilege of fostering two little girls for 16 months. They came to us when they were 16 months and 2.5 years, joining our three biological boys ages 7, 6, and 5, and making us a family of seven!

What were your greatest struggles in parenting these children?

My greatest struggles were mostly internal and spiritual. I could not understand why it was so hard. If God had called us to it, (and we believed he did), if his heart beats for the orphan and widow in their distress, why on earth was I constantly on the edge of panic and out of patience with everyone in my family. In my estimation I was messing up all the most important things I had hoped to do so well.

Wow, does that ever sound familiar!

I felt like I was parenting en-mass. They became a little group of people I had to shuffle from here to there. I had to run them through the tub one at a time like a machine. I fed and washed them all, and in between the shuffling, bathing and washing, I was sprinting towards the next event, trying to stay ahead of their needs. And if for one second I took my hand off, closed my eyes, failed to plan ahead, a dam of unmet needs would break on me and it would take days to recover from the fatigue, fits, and fallout. I learned to never get behind. It led to living life in a state of low grade panic, with no time or energy for relationships with the children, or others.

What did God teach you in this experience?

God taught me so many things. He will grant what he requires. And so often we think he requires more than he actually does. Does he require moms to make a certain kind of meal? To keep a certain kind of schedule?

Sometimes I wonder if our journey in foster care was more about God teaching and taking care of me than it was about me teaching and taking care of children.

I had worked so hard at something so important. And for various reasons I felt like I had failed. I figured God was probably disappointed with me.

But he showed me through his word that faith is less about doing and more about depending on Him.

June 26 Shauna Letellier Remarkable Faith is Not Performing

How does this experience tie into your book Remarkable Faith?

I wasn’t homeschooling. I wasn’t a single parent. Each of our five kiddos had unique and individual needs, but none that were medically or developmentally urgent. I wasn’t helping refugees overseas. I wasn’t building orphanages.

Many of my friends were doing much harder things and I was barely making it to church. And it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that the free childcare provided by the nursery and Sunday school teachers may have been my main reason for attending church. “Everyone else” was performing remarkable acts of faith and ministry, and I could barely fix supper.

I began to wonder…

If my faith was pleasing to God, wouldn’t this come easier?
My “acts of faith” are nothing compared to so-and-so. Maybe my faith is second-rate?
If I’m feeling so desperate all the time, maybe I don’t have faith.

I picked up my Bible and discovered something remarkable. When Jesus spoke with his chosen disciples about their faith, he said they were faithless and twisted (see Matthew 17:17, NIV). More than once he exclaimed, “O you of little faith!” But there were others in the gospels whose faith Jesus noticed and commended. He saw their faith, remarked about it, and was even astonished by it!

But here’s the funny thing. We don’t know their names. We only know them because of their sickness, tragedy, and sordid histories. Jesus not only knew them by name, he knew their suffering, and saw great faith in the midst of it.

And if he commended these nameless examples of faith, then maybe mine wasn’t a disappointment to him after all. In each story I discovered that perhaps the most remarkable act of faith is to unreservedly carry our inadequacies to Jesus and trust Him to transform our weakness into worship. Remarkable faith is depending on Christ, not performing for him.

The unlikely examples of faith were so fascinating that I retold them in a series of eight biblical vignettes. Each one weaves history, theology, and fictional detail into their biblical accounts to bring a new perspective to those whose faith feels unremarkable. Those eight stories became my book.

June 26 Shauna Letellier_RemarkableFaith book cover

Thank you, Shauna, for taking time in the midst of a crazy launch season to answer my questions.

What an encouragement your words are for us. How comforting to realize that we too can be women of #remarkable faith.

Friends, I rarely find books I recommend, especially on my blog, because I’m picky that they contain rich content and are well-written. I can say with absolute certainty that Remarkable Faith is worth having. To learn how to pre-order click ⇒ Remarkable Faith. If you order before July 10, you’ll also receive a Bible study guide and other free gifts.


June 26 Shauna Head shotShauna Letellier enjoys weaving strands of history, theology, and fictional detail into a fresh retelling of familiar Bible stories. She draws upon her Bachelors degree in Biblical Studies from Grace University in Omaha, Nebraska, as well as a variety of Bible commentaries to drape the fabric fiction over the framework of Scripture. Shauna is a self-proclaimed expert second-guesser but finds certainty in knowing Jesus Christ. She blogs about finding rest and relief in Him at ⇒ Shauna Letellier. With her husband Kurt, she has the wild and hilarious privilege of raising their three boys along the banks of the Missouri River where they fish, swim, and rush off to ballgames.